Have you ever wondered what it feels like walking on clouds? Literally speaking, that is.
Is it just like a big, thick fog, without the option to switch on the lights? Does it smell of cotton candy?
Can you hear music? It would have to be Guns n’ Roses, right ( knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s doooor) ? What happens when you finally land on the ground below? You bounce back up, of course.
This might very well be the silliest debate I’ve entertained in these digital pages (and I know I’ve touched a fair number of not so serious topics). But #SillyIsTheNewHappy and it all serves a very good purpose.
This is my Chubby Cloud tale. And it does not (always) make sense.
I know, just bear with me. It’s rather brilliant, actually.
Anya Hindmarch set out to celebrate the start of London Fashion Week with the launch of the new limited edition bags: the Chubby collection. Starting to make some sense here, right?
Of course, the only logical thing to do would be to create an actual big, fat, chubby cloud.
The world’s largest, whiter-than-white bean bag. This wonderful installation was made to cover up the floor at Whitehall’s Banqueting House. Oh, where the ceiling happens to be covered in unique, extraordinary Rubens’ paintings.
It gets better.
Grown-ups are only allowed in if wearing white overalls (yes, really). Blending-in and so on. What happens next? You step on the “cloud”, or rather try to balance and not fall flat on your face. Then: jump backwards and forwards, sink in, listen to music, stare at Rubens’ generously, joyfully curvy creatures, take selfies and giggle hysterically in the process.
Confused? Yeah, I would be too. Which is why I’ve make videos, no-one would believe me otherwise!
All very grown up. And there’s a special guest!
No, not Father Christmas. Although Rubens would have been just the guy to depict the lovely, fat, long-bearded creature on canvas. Coca-Cola just hadn’t yet invented him yet.
One of my favourite nutritionists and best-selling author Amelia Freer is talking all things food and body image. In fact, she’s the main reason I’m here, giving this chubbiness business a go.
Let’s recap here to make sure it all makes sense: there’s Anya Hindmarch, new bag collection, London Fashion Week, body image, chubby cloud, chubby chubby Rubens, Amelia Freer.
Phew, and here I was thinking that grown-ups jumping on bean bags whilst wearing disposable white overalls was slightly bonkers…
These are some of Amelia Freer’s top healthy food tips:
- At each meal, the first two mouthfuls should be protein.
- Leave 5 hours between meals. Feeling a bit hungry is actually good for you.
- Stop eating by 9pm and break your fast 12 hours later. Give your digestive system a break.
- Ignore the scales. Healthy is not a size.
- Confidence makes the woman. Not her weight.
- Don’t go around pointing out your faults. Attracts the wrong vibes.
- And if there’s a guy putting you down because of how you look, well, he’s probably not the right guy.
The word I would use for it would be a**hole.
Heaps of science-backed common sense, Amelia has. As the interview drew to a close, I felt for her. Standing up from her chair under the burgundy canopy I could see her hesitate, clearly just a girl wanting to join in the bean bag fun… That’s when I almost raised my hand and said “Here, Amelia, you can have my white overalls!”.
This is when I quickly made an escape to collect my things from the cloakroom – with kids pick up time looming, clock ticking, I do a Cinders and suddenly … whoop! Just like that, it’s back to real life.
White overalls gone, I make a short stop at the Chubby Cloud cafe to stock up on cloud-shaped, lemon filled, over-priced macarons. This should keep the magic going on the way back to home & homework!
Back with my foot firmly on the ground, head up in the clouds.